BARBER:
I wanted to be a lumberjack!

Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia
The Giant Redwood The Larch The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine!
The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria
The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant!
The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip!
The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!

With my best buddy by my side, we'd sing! Sing! Sing!

[singing]

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day

MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day

BARBER:
I cut down trees I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees He eats his lunch
He goes to the lavatory
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day

BARBER:
I cut down trees I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees He skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day

BARBER:
I cut down trees I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!

[talking]

What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

[singing]

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
He sleeps all night and he works all day

He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay
He sleeps all night and he works all day